


in for a penny

by arielf17



Series: helpless morons, stupidly in love [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, F/F, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, I cannot stress enough how stupid these two are being, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Roommates, dumbasses to lovers, idiots to lovers, morons to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:20:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24411961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arielf17/pseuds/arielf17
Summary: In Bucky’s defense, having sex with his best friend had seemed like a really good idea when he was 18.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli
Series: helpless morons, stupidly in love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762894
Comments: 4
Kudos: 105





	in for a penny

In Bucky’s defense, having sex with his best friend had seemed like a really good idea when he was 18. The bad idea had been to continue sleeping with Steve afterwards. 

Two best friends afraid to go off to college virgins had made a deal. Two best friends in college not quite ready to forge new bonds extended the terms of their deal. Two roommates/best friends occasionally fuck. Good, right? Totally normal, right? Great idea, right? 

Wrong. Bucky thought that if jacking off his feelings had been unsuccessful, then there was no harm in actually having sex with Steve. Surprise surprise, Bucky had only fallen even more in love with Steve. 

Bucky knew he was being a coward. He knew he was being an idiot and he knew that he didn’t have a chance with Steve, who had always been beautiful and brilliant and kind. But Bucky couldn’t stand lying anymore, so he left his note and he ran off in the night. 

If Bucky Barnes was a coward, then Sam Wilson was a saint. He answered the door bleary-eyed at two in the morning and offered his futon to Bucky without asking any questions. Bucky knew that questions would come in the morning. Until then, he could sleep knowing that he wouldn’t have to face Steve for a while. 

—

Steve woke up confused. Bucky usually stayed in bed with him after they had sex. They’d been having sleepovers since before they started sleeping together. Maybe Bucky had gotten up early, and gone out for breakfast or something? 

There was a sealed envelope with Steve’s name on it sitting on the coffee table. Steve recognized Bucky’s handwriting and tore into the envelope. 

_ Dear Steve,  _

_ I’m sorry for so many things. First of all, I’m sorry for doing this with a letter. You deserve more from me. Second of all, I’m sorry for leaving in the middle of the night, I just couldn’t risk it.  _

_ I’m more sorry than you’ll ever understand because of this: I love you. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember and I am so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.  _

_ I know that you don’t feel the same way about me, so I’ll spare us both that conversation, which would hurt you just as much as it would hurt me.  _

_ I don’t want you to feel bad about this, Steve. You didn’t know and it’s my fault for lying to you. I’m going to do my best to get over you and move on, but it’ll take longer than either of us would like. I know you’ll respect my space until then.  _

_ Bucky  _

Steve got dressed at lightning speed and rushed out the door. He only just barely remembered his wallet, keys, and phone. He folded up the letter and stuck it in his wallet. He had to find Bucky and set the record straight. 

The first place he went was Peggy and Angie’s. Angie had known Steve for almost as long as Bucky had, and Peggy had a no-nonsense way about her that was invaluable in a crisis. 

“What’s happening, Rogers?” asked Angie, answering the door. 

“I’m looking for Bucky, have you seen him?” 

“Are you guys fighting? I didn’t think you guys did that.”

“Angie, darling, who’s at the door?” 

Peggy emerged and spotted Steve. 

“Apparently Bucky’s missing,” said Angie. 

“He’s not missing,” said Steve, “but he left last night and he left me a note and I just...I need to find him.” 

“I’ll call if he drops by, but Steve, are you sure you don’t want to go home and cool off, maybe just call him?” asked Peggy. 

“He won’t pick up, besides, I have to do this face to face or else he might not believe me.”

Angie sighed in recognition. 

“Well, I tried,” said Peggy, “be safe and try not to be too over dramatic.” 

“I think it’s a little late for that, but your input is welcome as always. Thanks.”

Steve ran off. Once he exited the building, he ran towards Natasha and Clint’s. Natasha opened the door before he even knocked. 

“Nat!”

“You’re a grade A moron, you know that Rogers?” 

Natasha didn’t look as amused as she usually did when she was calling Steve an idiot. 

“Nat, is Bucky here?” 

“You’re so stupid, Steve. Of course he isn’t here. He told me everything. This is not a crisis that either Clint or I can help with. Your brand of gay nonsense is beyond even my skills.” 

“You sound mad,” noticed Steve. 

“Of course I’m mad! He loves you and you love him, but you never talk about it! You’re my friends and I want you to be happy, but I never said anything because contrary to popular belief, I do have boundaries.”

“Natasha...”

“I’m not gonna help you fix this, you’ve had a lifetime to fix this. Just...stop being afraid, it doesn’t suit you. And eat a muffin or something, you look like you’re about to keel over.”

Steve kissed Natasha’s forehead. 

“Thanks, Nat. You’re the best.”

“You’re still an idiot,” called Natasha as Steve ran off. 

—

Waffles were ready when Bucky woke up. 

“You’re an angel, Sam Wilson.”

“Not so fast, Barnes. Waffles are for talkers.” 

Bucky curled up in a ball on the futon. 

“I’m serious. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on.” 

“Fine. Just, let me start at the beginning and work all the way through, okay?” 

Sam nodded. He brought back a plate of waffles and sat next to Bucky on the futon. 

“So...Steve and I met when we were seven. Our moms knew each other, but he was in and out of the hospital the first few years, so we didn’t meet right away. We became friends, and then we became best friends, but...you know how I feel about him, don’t you?” 

Sam nodded. 

“That started in junior high. It was the seventh grade. I never said anything, I never did anything, not until our senior year of high school. Steve and I talk about everything, and after we graduated high school, we got to talking about college and how neither of us really wanted to show up on campus...inexperienced.” 

“Oh Bucky. Tell me you didn’t.” 

“Nothing else was working, I thought that I could just do it once and then get better, but-“

“Wait. You and Steve have been having sex for  _ ten years _ ?” asked Sam. 

Bucky nodded through a mouthful of waffles. 

“So, you told him how you felt last night?”

“Not exactly. I-“

“You left a note.” 

“I know what he would say. I can’t face that, not until I’m better, which is why I can’t see him for awhile.” 

Bucky’s phone dinged with a text from Peggy. 

_ Steve’s worried sick about you  _

“He’s already looking for you, isn’t he?”

Bucky nodded. 

“He just left Peg and Angie’s. He’ll try Nat and Clint next. Nat’ll probably give him a piece of her mind which will buy me some time, but not a lot. If I sneak down your fire escape, I can make it back to my place before Steve gets here. If you stall him for long enough, I can be on the next plane to Indianapolis. I’ll be in Shelbyville by the time Steve knows I’m gone. Then-“

“Okay, no,” interrupted Sam, “that is complete nonsense and I want no part in it. Once Steve figures out where you are, you’re gonna talk to him.” 

Bucky’s phone pinged right as he was about to protest. A text from Natasha Romanoff, a powerful omen in and of itself.

_ Blondie’s on the move. If you don’t nut up then I can’t be held responsible for my actions.  _

Bucky didn’t think that “my friend refuses to address the raging dumpster fire that is his love life in a mature way and it was annoying the hell out of me” was a justifiable defense plea, but he had seen Nat convince some very smart people to do some very stupid things. 

“He just left Nat and Clint’s,” said Bucky, “I’m almost out of time. I can’t do this Sam, I can’t-“ 

“Okay, okay, shhh shhh, just breathe, alright.” 

Bucky didn’t know how much time had passed as he sat there breathing and listening to the vague sounds of Sam talking him down. Before he knew it, his phone was ringing. 

“Is that him?” asked Sam. 

Bucky shook his head. Steve wouldn’t call, he knew Bucky wouldn’t answer, that was why he was running around Brooklyn like a chicken with its head cut off. Bucky answered the call from a contact named “Steve did something stupid”, which appeared to confuse the hell out of Sam. 

“Hello, this is James Barnes, please tell me my idiot roommate is okay so I don’t have to come down there and look at his ugly mug.” 

“No such luck, Mr. Barnes, sorry,” said Peter, just a hint of a laugh, “Mr. Rogers collapsed in the street due to a hypoglycemic episode. He’s fine now, Dr. Strange has him on an IV. He’ll need help getting home once he’s discharged.” 

“I’m on my way. Thanks for the call, Parker. Stay out of trouble.”

“Do my best. See you soon, Mr. Barnes.” 

Bucky hung up. He turned towards Sam. 

“Fate finds a way. Steve passed out on the street like the self-sacrificing dumbass that he is. Why am I in love with this idiot?” 

“Because you’re stupid too. Now let’s get going.”

—

Steve slowly opened his eyes and saw Bucky sitting there next to his hospital bed, his legs crossed with a book in one hand. 

“Buck?” 

Bucky snapped his book shut with an annoyed crack. 

“If I’da known you’d wind yourself up here running around looking for me I would’ve kept my goddamn mouth shut.” 

“I gotta grow where I’m planted. Besides, I like to respond to melodrama with melodrama. And I’m glad I’m here. I don’t think you’d be talking to me if I wasn’t.” 

“That might be true,” sighed Bucky, “but I hate being pitied almost as much as you do.” 

Steve smiled. 

“You’re an idiot if you think I don’t love you exactly the same way as you love me and exactly as much. I’m an idiot for the same reason. If you so much as imply that either of us aren’t helpless morons stupidly in love, then you better shut up and kiss me so I can prove you wrong.” 

Bucky chuckled. He pressed a soft kiss to Steve’s forehead. 

“Get better first, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too.”

  
  



End file.
